I never thought of where to put an end to this wonderful story, created a cold March evening and unfortunately died in a hot July day.
too much confusion, too many feelings that do not add up, too much anxiety, too much depression.
What is success? because we got to face and find just pain? Why we can not forget all the bad that we pulled him over the last year and do not try to start with freshness of the first day?
I lived in fear and anxiety not to do it one year and a half. I tried to give everything I could to the maximum squeezing my head and my body to get things done. I have traveled to Modena for a year by destroying the weekend, I stood for the work that crushed me trying to create me a position in spite of the nastiness that I breathed, I cooked, washed, dusted and laid out trying to meet the needs of the house. I felt weak and uncertain and are entrusted to me what was the strong party, making your shadow is not contradictory, making every effort to do things "right", putting nalla condition judging me in the situation to feel more and more mortified. Why?? I really wonder why? Why I have not forgotten about us, our space, sacrificing all in the name of perfection?
what happened? I became dependent on the opinion of those blue eyes that maybe they just wanted love and found themselves staring at a small woman rendered helpless by the events .. not the woman he had loved.
and I realize now that maybe I lost it forever, that I was the one to lose happiness, I calculated my own based on his own, which I have applied the model office to my private life . I was silent, I worked, I tried to do the best, I was afraid not to be good, I expected to receive a review and approval. I forgot to claim, to be joyful, happy and above all to be a woman. I forgot that in normal life you must take out the balls, the opinions, you have to fight ..
and now I've lost, I feel lost in this uncertainty that captures our heart, destroys me in the struggle between rationality and emotion. I wish I could say that together we can make it, that I loved you from the first day I saw you and I will love you forever. Wish I could prove who I am with my strength and my weakness ..
I still teach you something, I want to be your shoulder, I wish I could be with you every moment of your life. I would like to build something meaningful together, walking hand for hand, wish you were proud of me, I would like to recover all your consideration.
but now that I'm crying my tears and I still do not know if you, if I can still enjoy your smile.
are confused, like this post, as the words that do not flow, like thoughts that are jammed.
are confused, defeated and demoralized. half of the bags made, the thoughts that run fast, too .. .. does not focus too much pain, too many tears fell, too much of everything.
I would just like it was still the cold March evening, to tell you that it is true that we can love forever.
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