suddenly on the way it did not take. to complete a period of shit where the phones if they are dumb and hopes are in vain, it did not take me wants to talk cha coordinator. alone in his office Monday morning before school.
motivations are at the point of absurdity, but there are. As usual my behavior put me in a position of having to justify having to apologize and explain the reasons. someone back home who knows what, perhaps a gesture made at a time of stress and anger and her mother missed the step and go straight to the teachers and coordination.
I feel very lonely, I feel very guilty, I feel very anxious and even though I know that in everything I did there was a shadow of evil and will hurt, it destroys me .. is a relationship of trust that is at least to me, who are already looked at sight. I want to stop working in schools, because the relationship with the children wear out and I can never feel totally satisfied with my work. I must learn to curb anger, to manage emotions and do and say what others would like me to do and say. yet I do not feel the malice or the anxieties on the part of any parent to me, I do not see children afraid or avoid me ... and I do not understand the meaning of a conversation at the end of year ... I will get in a position to choose ? and I choose that?
and if for one year to give up everything?? Me I arrange to pay the car, I learn to be careful .. and I'm interested in trying a different job where the work is different, where I can speak in a manner normal, where every error we may be able to remedy with the words, which should not feel humiliated or challenged.
a job where he can say what I am worth .. if it is still worth something ...
groped for broke.
- chutzpah.
- loud.
- determination.
- flaunt safety.
- send CV by email.
- tighten your fingers ....
and God send us good ....
strategy in my opinion ... I think this is the calm before the storm.
I feel because they are worried, anxious and I'm thinking too many times a day to what I'm doing and by Riton on my feet.
'm thinking about what I have sown here and there and hope not to have them thrown in the air too bad ... I'm honest, especially when I talk about me ... I am confident that people hardly listen to your discomfort and we're all so bad that in the end you forget the discomfort of others.
go bad .. I do not know where it will lead us is fucking economic crisis, but we're all going bad.
madness spreads, pessimism is high and People contracts.
is perhaps physiological, perhaps it is normal, but in a logic where the more you have, the more I want, who will lose will we ..
I'm holding?
but because I bought the car? I also contracted
I Pronda to donate if this is enough to defend a feeling ... I'm afraid, much too afraid for what will be my future ...
disease disease ..... a bit 'rhymes with apathy, that some' rhymes with boredom ...
that sucks .. not because I'm home .. what I like, but because this morning things are not at all .. I received two phone calls a useless .. not even call me that if it was the same (I assure you?? ever) and one that gave me serious doubts about the whole system of recruitment of temporary work agencies have sent 4 .. curriculum, a hand, I have already talked to the girl one time and now you refer to the curriculum via mail me re-contacts for the same place?? but if the database that I have discarded from the selection process for that very place .. but my resume, I'll eat you for breakfast ???.... what a drag ...
then I got stuck looking at old photos, I kept back in my fixations like a good girl .. but why do not I'm happy feelings? What a day of shit!
I do not want to do anything .. not even try to commit.
but why not learn to keep quiet ....
if the work needs to be just money, stop looking ... I do what I'm already doing it .. until, until there is and then find something better .. while I pay the car and I make a wish? ?
that give balls, balls that I'm a sore throat that does not go away, that sucks my doctor, everything that sucks ..
uff ..
