but ... .. after all it is going to face the crisis for now there is work. A year or so working insured, the master in the process of carrying out, the house takes shape and I feel more and more ... dinners are always good to me, the cakes that I have succeeded, I sleep and not feel cold and I'm happy .... I feel at home ... Then more and more in love. forgot .. came the desktop, pc, missing only speakers .. the mule is already installed .. I just have to endure the links ... but I'll ... succumbs if I get up ...
choices sometimes the choices that even the captain would like to ... you wanted to choose something else, but ultimately you found yourself in a routed hoped to change destiny .. never mind, I'm here, still sitting in the wrong place, begging for a role, but sat down and paid .. .. 'm sad, I'm happy? .. I do not know Monday is always difficult to get up, I always sleep, but it does the same and is sent down that sense of not belonging, of futility is sent down because .. c 'is a glossy red kitchen and a bedroom lilac, mounted a table and chairs to come, they bear because I bought a car, why do not I want to share with my anti-wrinkle cream .... will bear all .. maybe, but I feel useless, inadequate and too much stuff I want and I like to do. not know yet .. Who will rein me today, that on Monday of shit .... give me my € 950 per month and all you die!
orange walls When I first saw the orange wall, I realized what is happening .. I spent all my time and learn carteggiarte walls (without much success) to bleach white, but it was the orange to give me that idea of \u200b\u200bhome that I could not find ... is taking shape everything and I have arrived without even realizing it ... There is only one thing, the most important, a contract of employment ... seems that a proposal will come, but maybe there is something interesting in the air that I will probably assess ... the usual ... damn forks, but necessary! are at a good point in my life ... but I'm not understanding anything! Last night I was so excited that I would have started crying! hopefully good .. my motto is .. I always say it again .. hopefully good for me and for blue eyes, she deserves the best and feel great! My confidence to a player of my team .. my only player! the next wall is purple ... and then the red kitchen and then the yellow room, the bathroom and then come the blue my bed and the two beasts .... maybe even a couch! W me ... maybe, but not sing victory, something goes well!
not go away the sense of not doing anything good .. cazzeggiano much, I watch, I slam a chair sitting next .. a bit 'a bit here and there, sometimes making pretending to conduct interviews, sometimes I sit on the right side and share the desk ... listening, watching, but I am a woman of action that I need to learn .. already made a posting, 26 contracts, But then the emptiness, nothing to do, the desks that are scarce, my role becomes more and more pointless useless, because they acquire skills that I do not know which side to use ... let's see .. meantime ... maybe there's other opportunities this blessed master, perhaps the fact that on Wednesday I have an interview .. perhaps we are seeing .. and time will tell .. (but I'm not convinced ....) the W ... Robby ... hoping that those who died lived shitting!
analysis will be .. will be a bit 'I am pessimistic and I see that hardly rose, but here I see few if not I hope very few .. basically, did not need me, I think it'd be a dead weight tested .. I try but I seem to navigate the mud .. hopeless with my legs become entangled with the voice set, with some stiffness in the neck! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGvoglio go on holiday !!!!!! !!!!!!!! soon I'll be on my beautiful toy airplane, which although not in the tropics, take me away from my fears of making mistakes .. I have to find a multimillionaire husband! To keep me away from everything and everything is working hard and suffering .... stay at home doing nothing ... well in my future home in the mountains to the sea .. or .. what's cooler?? Holiday .. holiday ... holiday ...
desks count of three desks .. count of staff in the office ... four count ... there is one person too many, and the office is too small. .. the end is that Robert? desire to sea, too much like a holiday! cmq write here is not harmful .. I concentrate ... Thursday I sit on the floor and then I sleep a bit '... how nice going to sleep ... 5 .. 1 bitter coffee and sleep ... I carry a thermos of bitter?? Nothing but salad and cottage cheese ..
exploitation or opportunity?? opportunities to come ... hope for a bit 'then that happens when you least expect it you get a nice phone call that sends you into the ecosystem nervous and intellectual crisis and the opportunity that comes so searched before hi ... internship, internship ... until October 2008 in a personnel department at a large cooperative of Parma what I aspetttavo .. .. and then who knows if I will keep me .. if I already have some programs explosives .. barbecues in anticipation and a little 'flutter! well ... we hope to borrow from my new location is everything .. I go for a ride ... at least two steps ...!!! hope good .... well hopefully!
the silence of the economy ... listening to some 'me around came to mind a couple of companies that send your CV to us .. while I do have ..
to cure boredom and tenderness of the meat due to forced inactivity, I have a good race consogliato ... maybe tomorrow .. or maybe not .. I will never too hot and then this morning I move good for fuckin 'around Parma and its streets .. the phone suffers from a strange syndrome cheap .. maybe Silence is broken and does not take well .... maybe that's why no one makes you feel!! exchange the phone tomorrow .. now look to good .... maybe while I'm running for besgo ...
yesterday has come in the form to the posts .. thought I've got a bit 'and then I crossed out the cross to stop ... it cost me effort, but in the end is gone ... but now I feel the burden of unemployment is always a bit 'heavier on me .. and I doubt if I have a form filled out well .... fuck .... fuck ... I have already sent ... how can you??
all is well ... all's well that does not end.
I gave my farewell moral teaching, and began the frantic rush to the talks, phone calls and hours attached to the internet ... something moved, but to date has yet to stop and remain motionless and mobile silent .. not achieve anything, there are a few 'of proposals floating in the emptiness and silence around ame ..
sew a bit ' in the pool .. just to make up the money for a bit 'rate of delivery of the car ... .. so again in August to September, because the state comes to us .. I am sorry to take advantage of beneficence state, but do not know how much .. I do my share of the economy I move well and now I have to keep moving! so again in September and while I do not stop ... I usually idle two days a week and I seem to not do anything ... I'm ironing? ' that sucks!
kiss ...
suddenly on the way it did not take. to complete a period of shit where the phones if they are dumb and hopes are in vain, it did not take me wants to talk cha coordinator. alone in his office Monday morning before school.
motivations are at the point of absurdity, but there are. As usual my behavior put me in a position of having to justify having to apologize and explain the reasons. someone back home who knows what, perhaps a gesture made at a time of stress and anger and her mother missed the step and go straight to the teachers and coordination.
I feel very lonely, I feel very guilty, I feel very anxious and even though I know that in everything I did there was a shadow of evil and will hurt, it destroys me .. is a relationship of trust that is at least to me, who are already looked at sight. I want to stop working in schools, because the relationship with the children wear out and I can never feel totally satisfied with my work. I must learn to curb anger, to manage emotions and do and say what others would like me to do and say. yet I do not feel the malice or the anxieties on the part of any parent to me, I do not see children afraid or avoid me ... and I do not understand the meaning of a conversation at the end of year ... I will get in a position to choose ? and I choose that?
and if for one year to give up everything?? Me I arrange to pay the car, I learn to be careful .. and I'm interested in trying a different job where the work is different, where I can speak in a manner normal, where every error we may be able to remedy with the words, which should not feel humiliated or challenged.
a job where he can say what I am worth .. if it is still worth something ...
groped for broke.
- chutzpah.
- loud.
- determination.
- flaunt safety.
- send CV by email.
- tighten your fingers ....
and God send us good ....
strategy in my opinion ... I think this is the calm before the storm.
I feel because they are worried, anxious and I'm thinking too many times a day to what I'm doing and by Riton on my feet.
'm thinking about what I have sown here and there and hope not to have them thrown in the air too bad ... I'm honest, especially when I talk about me ... I am confident that people hardly listen to your discomfort and we're all so bad that in the end you forget the discomfort of others.
go bad .. I do not know where it will lead us is fucking economic crisis, but we're all going bad.
madness spreads, pessimism is high and People contracts.
is perhaps physiological, perhaps it is normal, but in a logic where the more you have, the more I want, who will lose will we ..
I'm holding?
but because I bought the car? I also contracted
I Pronda to donate if this is enough to defend a feeling ... I'm afraid, much too afraid for what will be my future ...
disease disease ..... a bit 'rhymes with apathy, that some' rhymes with boredom ...
that sucks .. not because I'm home .. what I like, but because this morning things are not at all .. I received two phone calls a useless .. not even call me that if it was the same (I assure you?? ever) and one that gave me serious doubts about the whole system of recruitment of temporary work agencies have sent 4 .. curriculum, a hand, I have already talked to the girl one time and now you refer to the curriculum via mail me re-contacts for the same place?? but if the database that I have discarded from the selection process for that very place .. but my resume, I'll eat you for breakfast ???.... what a drag ...
then I got stuck looking at old photos, I kept back in my fixations like a good girl .. but why do not I'm happy feelings? What a day of shit!
I do not want to do anything .. not even try to commit.
but why not learn to keep quiet ....
if the work needs to be just money, stop looking ... I do what I'm already doing it .. until, until there is and then find something better .. while I pay the car and I make a wish? ?
that give balls, balls that I'm a sore throat that does not go away, that sucks my doctor, everything that sucks ..
uff ..
the faulty parties ... I feel like when I review all the plans were just that ... our plans and not just mine.
The evidence of working hard reality that the change of employment door, he confronted the possibility of unfavorable economic conditions, I can only accept in the face of enormous sacrifices for me and for him .. ..
destroy the plans, projects ... it hurts when you are mine, makes me even more wrong now ..
after graduation came only two proposals for internships, one in insurance ... (I ?????) the insurer and the other to participate in a competition for an internship in an agency temporary employment to come .. not for recruitment. the dilemma is strong .. I'm holding? I resign? I agree to go back to the beggar? I pay the car with the money of prostitution?
that sucks ... theoretically should give a degree of advantage, and instead becomes an excuse for accepting thousands jobs to the maximum exploitation of shit .. and then have some nebulous hopes for the future and no certainty to be ... Job 4 / 6 months free .. and then be left at home. I'm not there ... but then I think perhaps it is the only way to get away from that madhouse dwarfs, that strikes me for days .. and then I think of all the benefits but in the teaching gives me terms of salary and hours .. and then I think anvhe that are not safe even here, they are not functional and that if I do not want to make a precarious life, I have to go back to school or live "hoping" they will not until the second course enabling others .. 2200 euro to the state that are being added to the figure of proportion that I donated to university so far!
are angry and disappointed, I fought without a clear idea as usual .. I want to save myself, my dreams and yours. I will not burden the family budget of anyone, but I do not want to do that which you put your heart at rest and does nothing to change his destiny by accepting to die behind ... 28 brats for 1200 € per month ..
1200 euro .. That's where the problem ... .. that money is never enough to offer collateral in order to launch the world peacefully, without fear and hesitation ...
I want to be free from money .. take out the balls and once able to bite into life to give meaning to what I do!
is finished! 102/110 Thursday, April 24th I put an end to one of the most stressful periods of my life! the preparation of graduate ..... but I can finally call myself Dr. .. 102/110..niente bad for a vote that made the last years of university to kick ass and invented a thesis by shit.
but eventually went. I looked straight in the face, and with my usual high tone of voice I spoke to him for good 10 minutes, leaving no room for intervention. one point more than I expected and I can tell qiundi happy .. also the last improvised headdress minutes and held up the jacket has made a good impression.
restaurant then do not digest and so tired ...
I'm sick in the afternoon, the evening I go to Salvatore foot .. I'm sleeping in that kind of sleep. let's go downtown, my sister is waiting for me ... .. do not drink much, but I was sick and I do not drink at 3 months .. needless raccotare follow. Fortunately, there was the Holy Savior has sustained me, kept my head and never stopped talking to me while I was wrong and apologize all the time.
this afternoon, I expect the reception with friends and family are destroyed .. and I sleep. I'm still sick, I think I got a virus or something. Even last night I was sick .. we due to run away from the center because I was holding up .. I fail on all sides.
doctor .. doctor .. doctor .. the hole in the ass fuck, fuck ....
kisses .. I go to bed a bit '...
madness 'm going crazy ... really. Yesterday do not know who held my hand for 5 seconds I svuto the killer instinct to plant a pair of scissors in the middle of the front of my colleague. For nearly 40 minutes I had to listen to in his speeches without meaning, while puking and I spit phrases scattered throughout his wickedness. Then he deflated like a balloon, I breathed .. I could not get my hands dirty killing her, I can not even speak, because it would be wasting your voice.
beautiful time of shit. I feel the tension all over ... the degree of shit, I hano affiabiato against an external reviewer with balls ... I asked the teacher to whom the argument before asking Boschini .. luckily that has been over a year ... you remember me? ? a bitch is incredible .. one that puts you in trouble .. just looking at a half-way between the Letizzietto and Satan .... BUT WHY 'ALL ME ?????????????? ?????????
And then all of my expectations, I'm fucking party, dress like shit, the hairdresser, her purse, then surely it is raining or are sick and voiceless ..
but who made me do?? Reggio hate, hate this thesis, I hate my degree, I hate hate hate .. and I do not feel I could do it .. not .. stand the fellow and the last 7 days ...
tomorrow dedicated to speech ..
Saturday hairdresser ..
speech Sunday ...
and then shit!
today I lost 2 hours of my time behind preziosisissimo that asshole of my prof who did not even come forward.
had only to sign the dissertation and the disk and has seen fit not to come to the reception. Tomorrow, I took a day off just for being close saga what the hell is he?? is not ... is not present, does not warn anyone !!!!!
thief .. but damn if you do not bill tomorrow are fucking! The argument goes afarsi bless the bucket and fuck me .. another 1400 € loi not pull out because of him!
The thesis is a shit sucks, I read more and more I'm sick ... I could develop it much better to work on certain aspects deepening .... but holy God, but he has ever read is fucking argument? 'cause I was never even suggested on theoretical one aspect that is basically what interests him and which he deals??
for him to find out that my discussion will be a visiting professor .. maybe .. I'll not even be able to speak before a commission that I know of one ...
thesis is that the fucking balls .. I'm really tired of everything and Reggio Emilia .. great gloss and little substance.
bell'università of shit ..
if there's no tomorrow I kill him with my hands ....
if I do not respond to mail the throttle .....
kill the last day ... when I'm home a lot, then I struggle to take back this weekend .. also why, in the end I did not do much ..
the argument is over .. not to do that relies heavily on its capacity, I read and put under the spell checker word .. from reading begins tomorrow and weighs the definition of something to say ... that day will be climbing on mirrors, but at least do well ..
.. that sleep when I sleep here, I can not stand to be hurt .. I'm sleeping after Easter, but at home the thoughts torment me, the obsession of the day I leave ... maybe one of these day I stop in Parma to find a place to organize the refreshments .. nothing dances, beviamoci a glass, but I do not want to massacre the Maronites in the disco!
single issue .... I'm getting more time passes, the more I say it is all a formality that will be ... .. fucking balls!
hate, hate, hate .......
and after graduation .. I'm ready for a treasure hunt?
mah ...
lalaurea bleahhh!! between all the things I do, there are also exercises the physical therapist, who after having put on the wall, I was literally put on all fours back .. I would never want to notice that on 10 I never trained my neck and I lost ... god saint heavy in my hands that are worse than those blue eyes ... .. I do the exercises I correct that misery .. I make no claim of paranoia when I meet people you must graduate with me and tells me about the loroimpegno writing, how they remained segregated in years home to look for books, papers bono god ... I ... I pasted copied, pasted, copied and pasted .. I do have pity! cmq April 24, will end all this anxiety ... to bad he has to go, I graduate I too .. not that I really want to bark, but can not get away .. at least I know what I pasted?? The setttimana studio next to me right now ... last day of stress .. then go to the gym tomorrow ..! bono God .... that sucks! while replying to advertisements ... I do not know if you change jobs, but I say ....
